Thursday, January 5, 2017

A friend is a friend longer a friend?

My heart hurts today. I had a friend- or I thought she was my friend- but now she's not my friend and I've done nothing to deserve it. Our husbands had a falling out so now I guess we can't be friends either...who knew those were the rules? I didn't. I always thought the wives could be friends even if the husbands weren't but I guess I was mistaken.

I knew our husbands would no longer be friends but when I went to facebook to send her a message, she had not only unfriended me but blocked me as well. I texted her hours ago and there's been no reply so I guess she really doesn't want to be my friend anymore. And that hurts. Makes me want to cry, in fact I have cried several times today over it because I don't understand treating someone this way. It's not in my heart to treat people like that so I can't rectify it in my mind as the appropriate way to treat someone you once called friend.

So, I went to the Bible for comfort. What does the Bible say about friendship? Here are a few of my favorite verses about friendship and being a friend:

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing
Job 6:14 “He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Proverbs 27:10 Do not forsake your friend and your father's friend, and do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.

Friendship is meant to be an affirming, uplifting, strengthening relationship that is comforting and joyful. Sometimes it's sacrificial, sometimes it's hard, but the one thing that is always is is constant. It's supposed to be dependable. It's supposed to be a blessing. 

I have never made friends easily. For me it's a struggle because I tend to be very shy, painfully shy in new situations. I'm terrified of saying the wrong thing. I'm afraid of making myself look foolish. I want people to like me but I tend to hide the real me because I'm afraid they won't like who I really am. Some of my old friends- the ones I've had since grade school- can attest to that. They are few but they are true. They've seen me at my worst and still love me. They've seen the real me time and time again and still like who I am. Sadly they live far away and I don't get to see them as often as I'd like but I know that the next time we meet face to face, we will hug and catch up and move forward as if we'd always been together and distance never separated us. 

So for me to put myself out there and call you friend it is truly from my heart. For me to express devotion to someone- tell them I love them- is a struggle for me. I don't say it unless I mean it. I can't say it unless I mean it, my heart won't let me. 

Please be careful with your friendships. Treasure them. Treat them with respect. If there's a problem, address it, figure it out, grow from it. Don't let some silly difference get in the way of something life long and beautiful.